Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Is that strawberry winking at me??
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
