she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
