i love accidental penises.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
