Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
