At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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