Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
