When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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