They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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