Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
