You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize