i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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