Pants 0. Shit 1.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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