Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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