He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
