You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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