They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i out mim tonsoeep
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
