I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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