i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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