I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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