I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I wish i was in the wii world.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
