How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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