We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
