Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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