as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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