I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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