I should be sponsored by Trojan
Fuck appropriateness.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Randomize
