All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
