After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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