even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize