After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
