Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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