yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Randomize
