I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
