You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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