Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I will be naked everywhere
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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