strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize