my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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