I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
