No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
