No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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