Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
