You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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