How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
