are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
