Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
