I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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