I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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