I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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