It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
