help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize