Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
