We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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