I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Even my vagina gasped.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
