Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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