He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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