Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
