I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
