Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize