sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
